Have you ever noticed how the people around you consume food? Have you ever paid attention to how you eat? When we observe a person eating and how they relate to food, we can learn a lot about them. The way we eat is often connected to the way we relate to ourselves on multiple levels, including the physical, emotional, and mental dimensions.
Food as a Mirror: How Eating Reveals Our Relationship With Ourselves
It’s important to note that the relationship between eating habits and self-relationship is complex, and different people may have different patterns. However, there are several key connections:
- Physical Health: The quality of the food we consume directly impacts our physical health. Taking care of our own body through proper nutrition can be an expression of self-respect. Nutrient-rich foods support overall well-being.
- Awareness and Presence: Practicing mindful eating means being fully present during a meal. Enjoying food with full attention allows for a better understanding of one’s own nutritional needs, helps control portions, and reduces emotional overeating.
- Emotional Connection: Sometimes food is used as a means of coping with emotional challenges. Recognizing this pattern can indicate the need to understand emotional needs and seek healthier ways of coping with emotions.
- Self-Confidence and Self-Acceptance: The relationship with one’s own body and appearance is often connected to eating habits. A healthy relationship with food can contribute to positive self-confidence and self-acceptance.
- Self-Discipline and Life Management: The way we plan meals and organize eating habits can reflect our level of self-discipline and ability to manage our own lives.
- Self-Esteem: Feeding ourselves with food that pleases us and supports our well-being can be an expression of deeper self-respect and care for our own body.
My Experience: From Quick Snacking to Mindful Enjoyment
Food connects us. We create a relationship with it and with people from the moment we come into the world and our mother tries to breastfeed us. Throughout life, we develop our habits of consuming and choosing food.
I remember a time when I ate standing, on the go, quickly, and from pots. I was constantly snacking on something on the way, while working in the bakery owned by my parents, and I lived above it. It was perfectly normal for me to grab something from the cart with the products arranged on it and chew it on the way to the office. It became my routine because I didn’t allow myself to sit down and enjoy the flavors, smells, and textures. It didn’t matter to me; I wasn’t thinking about it, I wasn’t thinking about myself. My focus was on work, performing a bunch of tasks, and satisfying other people’s needs. I was developing recipes, creating new products – the focus was on customers and their needs and desires. Always outward and always towards others, I didn’t leave any room for myself. I wasn’t even aware of that. The way I treated food was the way I treated myself. This is something you can learn about a person when you see them eat.
Three Stories, Three Relationships With Food
My sister always prepares her food with due care. She always first thinks about what she wants to eat, and then starts preparing it. She eats slowly, chewing every bite. Her lunch takes time. Sometimes I feel nervous because I have to go somewhere, while she is completely focused and present in her meal. It’s her time, and she is present with the food, its smells, flavors, and textures. Food is her anchor to be in the present moment.
My friend Iva has a completely different relationship with food, and consequently with herself. Or rather, she used to. She eats extremely quickly, greedily, doesn’t chew, as if she’s stuffing herself. We talked about it. She says that in public she tries to eat slower because she feels uncomfortable, but she is still the fastest. She is aware that part of the way she eats is a habit from school where she was forced to eat quickly, and the other part comes from the fact that she says food isn’t important to her. For her, food is just there to put something in her mouth. And she can eat anything. She doesn’t think about it. She doesn’t think about herself, about what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what she needs.
Due to life circumstances, the time has come for her to start thinking about herself. About her relationship with herself. How does she feel? What does she like and what doesn’t she like? She is becoming aware and starting to recognize, little by little. Now, as she says, she is between two worlds, the one she used to live in and this new one that is opening up to her. I often hear that from my clients as well. That’s how I used to feel too.
Mindfulness and Mindful Eating: A Path to Yourself
Today there is so much material and opportunities for us to help ourselves. We need to want it and be brave, and not judge ourselves when we notice some things that we have allowed ourselves so far.
Mindful eating is one of the tools. The concept of mindful eating is most often associated with diet and healthy eating. Mindful eating is actually a mindfulness meditation. Through a series of practices, mindfulness allows us to develop a relationship with ourselves. Meditation is practice, and Mindfulness is a type of exercise we do. And we can incorporate it into everyday activities and get specific results. Whenever I talk to people about meditation and Mindfulness, the most common answer is: “I’d like to, but I don’t have time.” Mindful eating is an ideal tool when “we don’t have time.” Mindful eating can help us in personal development and getting to know ourselves, and creating a close, gentle, and supportive relationship with ourselves.
The concept of mindfulness is omnipresent, but difficult to explain. There is no one universal definition for mindfulness. The one that suits me best and that I use when explaining Mindfulness is the one by Jon Kabat-Zinn, according to which mindfulness is consciously directing attention to the moment, with special emphasis on non-judgment.
Mindful Eating Exercise: Enjoy the Present Moment
Mindful eating, or the mindfulness approach to nutrition, can be a useful tool for increasing attention towards yourself. Here’s a simple mindful eating exercise you can try, it only takes a few minutes:
- Preparation: For your next meal, sit comfortably at a table or in a quiet place without distractions.
- Observing the Food: Look at the food in front of you. Notice the colors, shapes, and textures. Think about the way it was prepared.
- Observing Smells: Smell the food. Become aware of the smells and try to recognize different aromas.
- Touching the Food: Touch the food with your hands or the utensils you use. Become aware of the texture and temperature.
- Focusing on Chewing: Take the first bite, but don’t swallow immediately. Feel the taste of the food, chew slowly, and try to recognize all the ingredients.
- Mindful Swallowing: When you decide to swallow, follow the sensation of swallowing. Become aware of how the food travels down your throat.
- Pauses Between Bites: Each time you finish a bite, put the utensils or food on the plate. Become aware of the moment before you take the next bite.
- Presence in the Moment: During the meal, return your attention to the taste, smell, and texture of the food. If you notice that your thoughts are wandering, gently guide them back to the present moment.
- Ending With Attention: When you finish the meal, thank you for the food you had and become aware of how you feel after eating.
The mind will wander a hundred times and that is normal and natural. And the best thing is that the more times you return your mind from the object of your focus, in this example food, the more effective the exercise is. This is neuroplasticity in action! Therefore, be patient, gentle with yourself, and enjoy mindful eating – a journey towards a better relationship with yourself and food.
