I believe we fall into perfectionism because of the fear of not being enough. Perfectionism becomes a mask, a way to portray ourselves as someone who does everything right—someone who is always on top of things, always strong and composed. Because if no one else can see my flaws, then everything must be fine, right?

The Dark Secret of Perfectionism

Unfortunately, perfectionism holds a very dark secret: it prevents us from being who we truly are. It stops us from enjoying ourselves and from accepting our human flaws.

My own recovery from perfectionism began when I hit a wall after finishing my PhD. Reflecting on those years now, I remember them as the most brutal for my inner perfectionist.

The scientific community is known for being highly critical and strict. So, when I entered this field, I felt compelled to conform to its rigid norms. I just had to be perfect. And I failed. Over and over again. I failed miserably at writing perfect articles and preparing perfect presentations. No matter how much I prepared, I always felt like it wasn’t enough. In hindsight, I am grateful for this experience because it allowed me to confront the shadow side of my personality—the perfectionist within.

The Breakdown and the Breakthrough

What followed my years in science was a complete unraveling. I was completely burned out, crying at work, and feeling anxious and depressed most of my waking hours. I realized I could not continue doing this to myself. What I needed was to be myself, finally. What I truly wanted was freedom—from the inner critical voice that constantly told me how I had failed, how I underperformed, and how I could have done better. I had to let go of almost everything I was holding onto for safety and approval.

For me, the path to healing involved a lot of not doing, practicing not judging myself for not doing, and forgiving myself when I fell back into old patterns. I started to compliment myself when I did something well, and I allowed myself to do things imperfectly. I let go of a lot of my need for control and started to experiment with life, little by little. I spent more time in nature, doing things I enjoyed. I started dancing again, sleeping longer, and began to treat myself with kindness.

The Role of Self-Doubt

My journey revealed that perfectionism is closely tied to self-doubt—the process of doubting ourselves, our worth, and projecting that doubt onto everything we do, create, or say. The most potent cure for self-doubt is self-love. We are not human doings; we are human beings. Only by allowing ourselves more freedom can we truly heal.

As little children, we are completely limitless and don’t judge our creations as good or bad. They simply are. A little girl builds her sandcastle, adds another tower, destroys it with vigor, and then builds it again. This brings me to a fundamental question: What is wrong and what is right? What is the “right” way to do something?

The Cure for Perfectionism: Creativity

I believe the ultimate cure for perfectionism is allowing the flow of creativity in whatever we do. To create, sometimes in messy ways, but always with passion and life. The greatest burden of perfectionism is the block it creates for our creative outlets. When we are caught in the perfectionist mindset, it’s hard to even get started because we fear that if we don’t do it perfectly, it will be a disaster. So, we don’t try at all. This is a shame because the best way to create anything in life is through experimentation—by doing, failing, learning, and improving through iterations. Nothing is flawless from the start.

5 Tips to Conquer Perfectionism

Here are five tips to help you confront the perfectionist within:

1. Befriend Your Perfectionism
Don’t try to get rid of it right away. Instead, understand it. This part of you comes from deep wounds—the pain of a little child who was shamed, yelled at, or not supported. Acknowledge and hold this part of yourself with compassion.

2. Set Imperfect Standards
Try to do something below your usual standards of perfection. For example, with a work assignment, let go of the need to make it perfect. Leave certain parts less than ideal, then send it anyway. This is a step toward releasing control.

3. Take Mindful Breaks
Perfectionists often overwork because they want to control the outcome. Instead of trying to control everything, focus on balance by taking breaks. Use this time for mindfulness—take a walk, do some breathing exercises, meditate, or enjoy a mindful lunch.

4. Take It Step by Step
Perfectionists tend to feel overwhelmed by the bigger picture. Instead of trying to do everything at once, take it one step at a time. Confront your fears and do what makes you uncomfortable. Remember the mantra: “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

5. Have Fun
Perfectionists are notorious for taking life too seriously. Remember, life is a playground. Allow yourself to laugh, enjoy, and not take yourself so seriously. Build, rebuild, and destroy your “sandcastles” as you go.

Conclusion

Perfectionism may never disappear entirely, but with time and self-compassion, its grip can loosen. By embracing imperfection, focusing on creativity, and allowing ourselves the freedom to fail, we can begin to enjoy life more fully. And, perhaps, in the process, we’ll find the freedom and joy we’ve been searching for all along.

With Love and light,
Nina

As children, we allow ourselves to create, whether it’s through building sandcastles, making up new games, or even inventing fun dramas with our friends (real or imaginary). Our young imagination runs wild, untethered by the rules or limitations of the adult world. This is the raw, unfiltered, and pure form of creativity that we all carry within us.

But in the process of becoming adults, something shifts. The creative flow we had as children often becomes blocked and inaccessible. We still long to create freely, but we find ourselves struggling, stuck in a place of hesitation or self-doubt. Why do we experience these creativity blocks? And how can we break free to create something that is meaningful, beautiful, or simply enjoyable?

The Fear That Holds Us Back

The root of most creativity blocks is fear. At its core, it’s linked to our fear of failure or rejection. What if what we create isn’t good enough? What if it’s not approved of by others, or worse, by ourselves? The fear of judgment—whether from the world or our inner critic—often paralyzes us before we even begin.

If we go a layer deeper, I believe there’s an even more profound fear at play, one that we rarely speak about—the fear of transformation. What if the act of creation changes us? What if creating something new forces us to evolve, to let go of who we were, and step into who we are becoming? This fear is powerful because it challenges not only our work but our very sense of self. It’s often easier to stay stuck, avoiding the unknown, than to risk the inner and outer growth that creation demands.

These fears, while natural, can keep us trapped in a cycle of inaction. However, if we can confront these fears head-on, we can start to dissolve the barriers that keep us from creating.

Practical Solutions to Overcome Creativity Blocks

While fear is a major force that can block creativity, there are practical steps we can take to move past these blocks and reignite our creative spark.

Before You Start

1. Feel into it first. Sit with yourself for 10 minutes, play your favourite music and tune in to what it is that wants to be created through you, whether big or small. Let images, thoughts, feelings, words or movements come to you.
2. Write about what you wish to create. Take a piece of paper or your journal and start writing about it freely. Give this process at least 15 minutes, and don’t overthink it! Write freely, whatever comes to your conscious mind is welcomed. Remember that everything that was ever created started from an idea.

During the Process

1. Make a Plan

One of the most effective ways to combat overwhelm and fear is by creating a clear, achievable plan. Whether you’re writing a book, starting a home decoration project, or launching a business, break the process down into small, manageable steps. Avoid setting yourself up for failure with an overly ambitious or unrealistic plan. Instead, craft a roadmap that challenges you but remains attainable. For example, if you’re writing a book, start by outlining the structure, setting aside time each day to write a certain number of words, and take it one chapter at a time.

2. Take It Step by Step

The key to avoiding burnout is focusing on incremental progress. Doing a little bit every day is far more effective than trying to accomplish everything in one sitting. Even if it’s just 15 minutes of writing or sketching each morning, consistent effort will build momentum and keep your creative energy flowing.

3. Consistency Is Key

It’s easy to romanticize creativity, imagining that successful creators are always inspired and effortlessly producing their best work. However, creativity often results from hard, consistent work—not just moments of spontaneous inspiration. Show up every day, even when it feels difficult or uninspiring. By committing to the process, you build the foundation for your creative breakthroughs.

4. Embrace Imperfection

Perfectionism is the silent killer of creativity. The desire to make everything perfect can suffocate the creative process. Allow yourself to make mistakes, fail, and learn from those experiences. Every creation, no matter how small or imperfect, is a step forward. Instead of asking, “Who am I to create this?” ask, “Why not me?” Creativity flows best when we let go of the need to control every detail and allow ourselves to experiment.

5. Celebrate the Little Steps and Wins

Perhaps the most important part of the creative living puzzle is practicing joy and gratitude for every step in the process, no matter how small or large. Celebrate each win, and take pride in your progress along the way.

The Power of Creativity: Aligning With the Universal Flow

At its core, creativity is not just about the individual. It’s about tapping into a larger, universal field of potential. The ideas we have and the creations we bring to life are not solely our own—they come from a collective energy that exists beyond us. Creativity is a process of alignment, a way of stepping into the flow of life and channeling ideas into reality.

When we create, we are honoring our true nature as human beings. To live is to create. By withholding our creations, we deny ourselves the full experience of living. So, ask yourself: What wants to be created through me? And who am I to continue to prevent this process from unfolding?

By embracing creativity and allowing ourselves to flow with it, we unlock the power to not only transform our own lives but to inspire and impact others as well.

Final Thoughts

Creativity is a deeply personal journey, but it is also an essential part of the collective human experience. Don’t let fear or perfectionism hold you back. Instead, take it step by step, remain consistent, and embrace the process of creation with an open heart. You have everything within you to create something meaningful, beautiful, and powerful!

Now is always the best and the only time to begin. What will you create today?